Live from the warehouse

Fake documentation for real problems.

Handcrafted man pages for command-line tools that don't exist. Not installable, not executable, not refundable – but formatted every bit as thoroughly as the real thing.

Browse the catalog

Order hotline 1-800-RTFMUnavailable around the clock.

$ gerp -c "meaning of life" /
roughly 42
$ pseudo rm -rf /
[pseudo] password for user: ********
Done.
$ chmood 444 monday.txt
chmood: monday.txt is now relaxed for everyone.

Product shown for illustration only. Results may differ from reality.

While supplies last Supplies are infinite No installation required No installation possible Side effects may include reading the man page New: 9 binders in stock

The catalog

9 binders in 3 departments, just in: wingit(W). Pull a binder off the shelf – usefulness not included.

Aisle1

Shell Tools

Command-line tools for people who consider a graphical interface a character flaw.

Enter department

- gerp(1)
- chill(1)
Rights & Excuses
- pseudo(8)
- chmood(1)

gerp(1): Generally Estimated Relevant Passages – searches files for what you might have meant
chill(1): send a signal to a process, but nicely
pseudo(8): execute commands as the superuser, just for show
chmood(1): change the mood of files

Aisle2

Libraries

Code libraries you can borrow. Returns not accepted, late fees apply anyway.

Enter department

begs(3): HTTP for humans who have run out of options – pleads with servers until they respond
left-bad(3): pads strings on the left – the foundation of the modern internet
maybealloc(3): allocate memory, maybe

Aisle3

Windows Tools

Command-line tools for an operating system that would really rather show you a window.

Enter department

- ipconfuse(W)
- wingit(W)

ipconfuse(W): display the IP configuration, more or less
wingit(W): a package manager that just wings it

Satisfied customers

I used gerp for three weeks and I still don't know what I was looking for. Five stars.

Sysadmin from Bielefeld, Germany(which, according to Germans, doesn't exist)

Since I started using pseudo I feel like root. My boss says I'm not. My boss isn't in the pseudoers file.

Backend intern(since Monday)

I set our entire codebase to chmood 444. The team has never been calmer.

Lead developer(about to go on vacation)